First Layover

Sitting in Chicago O’Hare. It’s a giant airport. It’s like a BIG city. I swear it was about five miles to the terminal in which I now sit waiting for my connecting flight to Zurich on my way to the Cannes film fest. It occurs to me only now that I...

My Mother

Mother’s Day is the day we’re supposed to, as a people, spend money to, as Charles Foster Kane once said, “buy things.” We do this to prove our love because somewhere down the line we were taught that buying stuff equals love. We have to buy...

My Weird Stalker Obsesses

I’ve left some person in my wake who still has a reason to hate me. They are fairly smart – smart enough to mask their IP address and smart enough to know that the way to hurt a woman is to call her fat or old. This person calls me both on a regular basis....

Leafenstein

I have two nieces. One of them has been wanting a little dog for years and years. Her mom and dad have three other very big dogs, like German Shepherd big. Finally, my niece wore her mom down and they zeroed in on this little rescue dog named Leaf. She is tiny but...

My Mel Gibson Encounter

There I was, a quick run down to Whole Foods to buy some stuff – you know, hadn’t showered and all of that. It was the small Whole Foods in Valley Village (or Sherman Oaks or whatever you want to call it). Tiny store. So small you can’t really walk...
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