Kids. They drive you crazy until they’re gone from you and then your life feels suddenly empty. I know for some it’s a relief. Half the time for me it’s a relief but half the time, more of the time, it’s not. You miss them. You miss them. You miss them. Emma and her cousin just flew out of here for a sleepover and that means I get some time to just do stuff. Why, I could go to a movie. I could go to a bar. I could just watch TV and sleep. I could go to a night yoga class. But here I sit, missing my kid, who just blew out of here in a whirlwind of teen magazines, overnight sleeping clothes, unbrushed hair, flip flops she barely found and stuffed her feet into and the excitement that only comes when she gets to go off and do something away from here. Off she went. It leaves a hole. It always has and it always will.
On a more happy note, a good friend, an old friend, an ex-boyfriend, just became a father. His wife is Chinese and they had a little girl they named Martha. He wrote me about it because he was the one person, aside from another good friend and my best friend, who was in the delivery room with me when my daughter was born. He was such a good sport, held my hand through the whole 18 hour ordeal. He was like a guardian angel to Emma and me and then after she wasn’t quite a year he was gone. We’ve remained in touch here and there through our various relationships and career dramas and here he is now, finally a proud papa. His little girl is lucky to have him. There aren’t many men out there who are man enough to be good fathers. I’m not even sure most men are cut out to be fathers in the first place. They’re much better at finding a mate in which to plant their seed. They make great sons and wonderful hunters and bosses. Some of them make great fathers despite the fact that they’re not inclined to be fathers. Some of them, like my ex, are born to be fathers. They’re the ones you want holding your hand while you’re having a baby. A virtual cigar for my friend Andrew. In a nine years from now his little one will be flying out the door too and he’ll be missing her even though he’ll suddenly have time to do whatever he wants to do.