Butker only got it half-right: Men, too, have been lied to about careers being more important than family. Being a father and husband is just as important and fulfilling as being a mom; a career is no more than the way we provide for our families in a modern society. In many ways, Western society is still dealing with the urbanization that accompanied the Industrial Revolution. In an agrarian society, the man and woman were true partners in providing for their children. Yes, in most families, the man did much of the heavier work - ploughing, harvesting, etc. But we know there were families in which the wife was stronger, and did much of the outdoor work. But preserving food, tanning hides to make leather to make clothes, spinning wool and cotton into thread, weaving that into fabric to make clothes. Between them, the man and woman had to provide EVERYTHING for their family.
As we moved off farms and into cities, there weren't hides to tan, wool to card, crops to preserve. As schools became available, and then mandatory, for working and lower class families, there weren't even children to supervise during much of the day.
So the old model no longer applies - but it's important to remember that in the old social order, men weren't the "providers" - husbands and wives together provided, with children pitching in from an early age.
As we continue working out new models for sustaining families, it's important to keep reminding ourselves that the raising of children is the only real purpose of any society - for both men and women.
I don’t know if you watched his speech but he did speak about his vocation as a husband and father. It was really heartfelt. He’s a wise and mature young man.
He's more than that. He's a great man. Our society has become insane if such a beautiful speech can arouse such outrage. I suspect that much of it comes from women who wish their husbands loved them with that degree of intensity.
Because I chose the path of housewife and mother, I truly appreciated what he said. Many times, women who choose to stay home are belittled by other women. I decided I had 100% to give. I could give it to my family or a career, but I don't have 200%, so one or the other or both would suffer. That is just a choice I made. And, I'm grateful to the women who came before that allowed me to make that choice. Another commenter made a good point about being left by a man with no marketable skills. I agree this is a danger. What I would advise in that situation (or what I did) was get my degree - mostly online, some in-person just in case. It gave me security. I just didn't have to use it. Or, I haven't had to use it yet and the kids are grown.
I like how you said ‘I have 100% to give, but not 200%’. That’s how I feel too. I picked my husband because we had the same values and he didn’t expect me to work after we had kids. We geared our choices pre-kids towards having one income and me staying home. We put a lot of effort and money focusing on his education and career, so we could live comfortably on only one income.
He would totally support me if I wanted to go back to school for a graduate degree or work in a couple of years because our son will be out of high school at that point. I like cooking and keeping a nice home for my family. But our lifestyle is really a team effort. It’s not one vs the other, but how do we achieve our goals together. I think that’s the piece that a lot of people forget - it’s not just about you anymore when you get married and have a family. There are others to consider.
Very important point. It has to be a team effort, something you are both doing and choosing. It's important because there will be late nights or long hours sometimes and that has to be okay. It's probably not the easiest choice. It is worth it, though. Or, it has been for us.
Good on ya Brandy, and I mean it. I know a dozen and a half women or so that went the other direction, and unless something changes really really fast, off to the longhouse they go…
I think all that really matters is how the grads at the college felt about Butkers speech, for which he received a standing ovation, so good for all of them. I don't think anyone protested or disrupted or walked out, so it sounds as though it was a fairly successful day all the way around.
Enjoyed all the videos. Especially glad Trump got to see his youngest son graduate. The smile on his face as he waved to him showed his true admiration. Good good choices you made. I dearly love a good creme brûlée 😋 Safe travels.
I chose family over promotion. Company office was closed in Oho with big opportunity in Massachusetts. Never seriously considered my moving as it would have been devastating to family. No regrets.
If it wasn't for double standards, dimocraps would have none. Ayanna Pressley had NO problem declaring in her latest racist screed that she's tired of, "white men failing up". But they are first to shriek & shake when in this case, MTG mentions fake eyelashes obscuring vision.
Butker has the right to say what he wants, and people have a right to respond to his views. I think women should be free to pursue their own path as wife & mother, career woman or BOTH without being criticized and judged by know-it-alls.
What happens to women who devote them selves to being wives and mothers, but are abandoned without marketable skills when their man has a midlife crisis and decides he needs a trophy wife?
My friends who have divorced did not have time to date because they were busy working and raising the kids while their husbands immediately hooked up with someone else,
I imagine any number of men would love to have you as a wife, Sasha. Probably a few following you right here. You are a catch at any age. if that is what you want, I say consider go for it. It’s not like being young and requires giving up some things, but it’s never too late to fall in LOVE.
Boy am I looking forward to 2 visits to the big screen this summer. A 2-part epic western, oh yeah! My 18 yr old daughter also hasn’t yet seen Dances with Wolves so we’re getting the popcorn buttered for that, as a primer. I see you tried 2 desserts there Sasha, that a girl! I’m thinking the Crème brûlée was the one to write home about, especially if the crust was thick enough to cut your hand again. Glad to hear it’s healing up a bit more. Life slows down with those kind of injuries whether we like it or not.
Butker only got it half-right: Men, too, have been lied to about careers being more important than family. Being a father and husband is just as important and fulfilling as being a mom; a career is no more than the way we provide for our families in a modern society. In many ways, Western society is still dealing with the urbanization that accompanied the Industrial Revolution. In an agrarian society, the man and woman were true partners in providing for their children. Yes, in most families, the man did much of the heavier work - ploughing, harvesting, etc. But we know there were families in which the wife was stronger, and did much of the outdoor work. But preserving food, tanning hides to make leather to make clothes, spinning wool and cotton into thread, weaving that into fabric to make clothes. Between them, the man and woman had to provide EVERYTHING for their family.
As we moved off farms and into cities, there weren't hides to tan, wool to card, crops to preserve. As schools became available, and then mandatory, for working and lower class families, there weren't even children to supervise during much of the day.
So the old model no longer applies - but it's important to remember that in the old social order, men weren't the "providers" - husbands and wives together provided, with children pitching in from an early age.
As we continue working out new models for sustaining families, it's important to keep reminding ourselves that the raising of children is the only real purpose of any society - for both men and women.
I don’t know if you watched his speech but he did speak about his vocation as a husband and father. It was really heartfelt. He’s a wise and mature young man.
He's more than that. He's a great man. Our society has become insane if such a beautiful speech can arouse such outrage. I suspect that much of it comes from women who wish their husbands loved them with that degree of intensity.
Because I chose the path of housewife and mother, I truly appreciated what he said. Many times, women who choose to stay home are belittled by other women. I decided I had 100% to give. I could give it to my family or a career, but I don't have 200%, so one or the other or both would suffer. That is just a choice I made. And, I'm grateful to the women who came before that allowed me to make that choice. Another commenter made a good point about being left by a man with no marketable skills. I agree this is a danger. What I would advise in that situation (or what I did) was get my degree - mostly online, some in-person just in case. It gave me security. I just didn't have to use it. Or, I haven't had to use it yet and the kids are grown.
Exactly.
I like how you said ‘I have 100% to give, but not 200%’. That’s how I feel too. I picked my husband because we had the same values and he didn’t expect me to work after we had kids. We geared our choices pre-kids towards having one income and me staying home. We put a lot of effort and money focusing on his education and career, so we could live comfortably on only one income.
He would totally support me if I wanted to go back to school for a graduate degree or work in a couple of years because our son will be out of high school at that point. I like cooking and keeping a nice home for my family. But our lifestyle is really a team effort. It’s not one vs the other, but how do we achieve our goals together. I think that’s the piece that a lot of people forget - it’s not just about you anymore when you get married and have a family. There are others to consider.
Very important point. It has to be a team effort, something you are both doing and choosing. It's important because there will be late nights or long hours sometimes and that has to be okay. It's probably not the easiest choice. It is worth it, though. Or, it has been for us.
Your children will rise up and call you a great blessing.
Good on ya Brandy, and I mean it. I know a dozen and a half women or so that went the other direction, and unless something changes really really fast, off to the longhouse they go…
Loved this posting! The food looks amazing ‼️
Especially the Flan, a Cuban desert.
Love flan‼️
Very sad to hear about Dabney Coleman.
He could portray a pompous, phony jerk better than anyone (strangely, never a politician???)
And make you almost literally ROFLOL.
.
Always a pleasure to hear from you Sasha!
I think all that really matters is how the grads at the college felt about Butkers speech, for which he received a standing ovation, so good for all of them. I don't think anyone protested or disrupted or walked out, so it sounds as though it was a fairly successful day all the way around.
If your daughter is half the woman you are, this world has a fighting chance! You are the best!
Enjoyed all the videos. Especially glad Trump got to see his youngest son graduate. The smile on his face as he waved to him showed his true admiration. Good good choices you made. I dearly love a good creme brûlée 😋 Safe travels.
I chose family over promotion. Company office was closed in Oho with big opportunity in Massachusetts. Never seriously considered my moving as it would have been devastating to family. No regrets.
If it wasn't for double standards, dimocraps would have none. Ayanna Pressley had NO problem declaring in her latest racist screed that she's tired of, "white men failing up". But they are first to shriek & shake when in this case, MTG mentions fake eyelashes obscuring vision.
Butker has the right to say what he wants, and people have a right to respond to his views. I think women should be free to pursue their own path as wife & mother, career woman or BOTH without being criticized and judged by know-it-alls.
What happens to women who devote them selves to being wives and mothers, but are abandoned without marketable skills when their man has a midlife crisis and decides he needs a trophy wife?
My friends who have divorced did not have time to date because they were busy working and raising the kids while their husbands immediately hooked up with someone else,
I'm putting two kids through college by myself because their dad won't help and his new wife won't allow it anyway.
There is not one MF that could keep me away from my child’s graduation! PERIOD!
Sasha, Drive safely and get home in one piece. Wish you the best. It’s not too late to get married.
I imagine any number of men would love to have you as a wife, Sasha. Probably a few following you right here. You are a catch at any age. if that is what you want, I say consider go for it. It’s not like being young and requires giving up some things, but it’s never too late to fall in LOVE.
Boy am I looking forward to 2 visits to the big screen this summer. A 2-part epic western, oh yeah! My 18 yr old daughter also hasn’t yet seen Dances with Wolves so we’re getting the popcorn buttered for that, as a primer. I see you tried 2 desserts there Sasha, that a girl! I’m thinking the Crème brûlée was the one to write home about, especially if the crust was thick enough to cut your hand again. Glad to hear it’s healing up a bit more. Life slows down with those kind of injuries whether we like it or not.
Happy Friday SS! A fun, thoughtful, enjoyable post! Safe trip home. We need you. ❤️