My mom comes from the South, Missouri, to be exact. Like almost everyone in the South, her mother was related to the Lee family. We’re not direct descendants of Robert E. Lee, but we’re Lee adjacent. My brother, nephew, and daughter all share the same middle name of Lee. It was always something we were proud of, but now it is a thing people would not want to admit, at least not on the Left.
She never knew her biological father, but a man named Clint married my grandmother when she was young, and for most of my mother’s life, she believed he was her dad. One night his new wife called my mother in a drunken stupor to tell her Clint wasn’t her real dad. I’ve been trying to find her biological father via Ancestry and 23 and Me ever since, but with no luck so far.
My mom went from being a beauty queen in the 1950s who dropped out of high school to have my brother to meeting my father and having three more kids in the 1960s, all before age 25. Then my dad would leave, and she’d be a single mother.
We were hippies on welfare for a while, which allowed my mom to stay home with us and raise us with goats, chickens, and ponies. Then, with barely a high school education, she was employed as a cocktail waitress and bartender while learning how to buy, sell and flip houses.
Eventually, she would get her real estate license and own enough property to leave each of her children a piece of it.
What I learned from my mom wasn’t that being born pretty means being successful, but that if you wake up every day and work hard, you will get somewhere. She also taught me a valuable lesson I’ve carried with me throughout my life, and that is simply this: keep moving forward. When you feel stuck, sad, or helpless, do the next thing you must do, even if it’s something as mundane as taking out the garbage.
I spent too many years complaining about my childhood and my mom because that’s what we did in the 90s. We just looked at everything that made us feel broken. I don’t think it got us anywhere. No one’s life is perfect and there is no way to raise perfect children. Trust me, my generation tried, and now look where we are. We all just do the best we can.
I am in awe of my mother. I’m glad there is a day to celebrate moms. Happy Mother’s Day, everyone.
I was born one month, to the day, before D-Day to a mother who had just turned 21. I had 3 older siblings. My parents had just endured the Great Depression and now a World War. They first worked on ranches for little more than room and board. In addition to caring for her four little children she was expected to cook for the ranch hands and do laundry. They were allowed to keep a cow so we could have fresh milk and butter.
They finally bought an old ramshackle ranch in the canyons of the Niobrara River and that’s where my first memories began. We had nothing that we didn’t work for. No electricity, no inside plumbing, wood for fuel.
My mother, as I first remember, could cook delicious meals, sew beautiful clothes from leftover scraps of cloth and flour sacks. We wore patches in our worn out jeans. She knew we were poor but she also knew we didn’t have to be raggedy and dirty.
She helped milk cows, make butter, dress and fry the best chicken this side of heaven, fresh bread every day from the wood fueled oven, wash clothes on a washboard, canned many jars of garden fruits and vegetables to see us through bitter winters and could make the best apple pie without ever using a recipe.
My mother could do anything and exceptionally well. We moved to a little town, while keeping our ranch, so we kids could go to high school. She worked as a grocery clerk, telephone operator and bookkeeper.
They just don’t make them like that anymore. I’m proud of my late, dear mother in more ways than I can ever say.
Raleigh, I grew up about 2-3 hours south of the Niobrara. Can picture where you described, floated that river a time or two. You honor your Mom well. We also canned from the garden, and my Mom was a great cook too.
Small world! Yes, the Niobrara is now a national scenic river and great place to float and canoe. I bet those early years are also some of your fondest memories. Thanks for checking in.
One of the most valuable realizations of life is when you wrap your head around the humanity of a parent. As a kid we think mom just does all this stuff she does because it is just who she is. When we realize that she was often as lost, tired, overworked and overwrought as we can be, we have passed a crucial gate of adulthood. We can then stop blaming them for everything that is wrong in our own lives and begin to really do something about it. Another gateway. When we can finally embrace our love for them in spite of their imperfection, we open a loving place in our hearts that will open a thousand mental and emotional gates for the rest of our lives.
It’s nice seeing someone in an influential role such as you who has clearly passed those gates. You and your mom are both fortunate as a result as am I for having read about it.
One of the most liberating experiences I had as a teenager was realizing that my Mom was doing the best that she could and though she wasn't anywhere near perfect, she loved me. I could cut her some slack. That was a new day and a new beginning for us. It's been more than 40 years since, and she went back Home 12 years ago. It's still one of the most important days of my life.
This was excellent. Thank you so much for sharing your mother and these parts of her amazing life story with us.
Separately, I want to thank you for having the courage to talk openly about your awakening and for sharing your valuable critical thought! Wish more people on the left would learn to think for themselves.
Incredible story of part of your life. You are an incredible person to come full circle and see the strength of your mom. We take far too much pleasure in our misery being ungrateful. It could have been far, far worse for you growing up. Your mom prevented and protected you against that scenario. A great story. Happy Mother’s Day!
Being a rebellious kid growing up in the 60’s Bat Area, I always managed to create and aggravate a strained relationship with my parents.
My Dad lived to 91, that gave me time to fully make amends. My Mother died 20 years earlier, and I was never able to. There’s so much I would like to have said and shown. What fools we can be.
I grew up in the South, Virginia to be specific. I remember a 7th grade assignment to write a one page essay about our favorite president of the United States...but if we wanted to write about Robert E. Lee, that was fine too! 😂😃 good times good times
My mom is with God, and I asked Him to give her a hug today. I wish I had always been kind to her and made her life easier— I pray in some way I blessed her. I was 39 when she passed— regrets for not treasuring her last a life time. Rise and bless your moms, knowing they are doing their best. 🙏🏻♥️
Great story. It's great to see you embrace your working class roots by standing up for these people in your writing. My parents owned a restaurant and didn't have fancy degrees either but they made a great middle class life for us. That's become increasingly difficult today. Thanks for sharing and Happy Mothers Day to you and your mom.
Dang I love this! This is so real and so true. Most of us could feel like some sort of a victim of our families in one way or another. I’ve learned as I got older what a waste of time that is. It’s a grieving process though. I’ve been trying to focus on going forward and what I can affect. Interesting you did that too, thinking you were raising perfect little democrats. Lol For me it was going to church and teaching kids about god. But we have since left that. The church culture wasn’t right for us. But all we were doing is trying just like you.
Dems capitalized on that movement big time, raising good little social justice warriors. Theres a new set of mama bears out there though. Hope it’s a good movement for society. They are the same as you though, thinking they are helping to contribute better to society. When you strip it all down there really is no ill intent on either side.
What a beautiful testimonial to your Mother, Sasha. She was blessed, too, with a daughter who really knows, understands and appreciates he. I guess the best gift we can ever give our Mothers (here or there) is to forgive their imperfections and realize, in the end, they were the perfect Mother for us - since we picked them to help lay the foundation for our eventual path.
Thanks for sharing that, Sasha. Your mom was a very wise lady! She raised a daughter the right way, and you’re making a great contribution to society by having the courage to report the truth you’ve uncovered. I hope you have a great visit with your mother.
There are three songs about life, love, and the American woman that, to me, are perfect anthems for motherhood.
Paula Cole -- Happy Home... which reminds me muchly of Sasha's story here.
The Judds -- Love is Alive... watch Grace West's cover on The Voice. It will blow you away.
Emmylou Harris -- Red Dirt Girl... about loss
These songs break my heart, perhaps for different reasons, but really, for all reasons.
My own mother is incredible. Small town, mid-west girl marries a mysterious man she barely knows, but trusts her heart and follows him overseas leading to a 25-year dufflebag odyssey around the Pacific while raising three young children. She's written & self-published two books on the subject, winning recognition and awards. She's been writing a weekly column for her hometown paper for years now, telling the stories of forgotten people, things, and events to remind us of who we are. Even at 85 years old, she's a wondrous dynamo that leave folks 60 years younger in a perpetual state of awe and exhaustion. I really don't know how she does it. She has moved her household more than 20 times and last week, in a total surprise, moved herself and my father into a senior, assisted living complex, before it becomes necessary, because she didn't want to burden us kids with having to make that decision. I'm her first-born. She still peels and separates my oranges for me. That's my Mom.
*Forgive me if this is a double post. I tried posting this with links to the songs, but the page crashed and I didn't see that it was posted. Perhaps the links are disallowed?
It's interesting that your family is from Missouri. I grew up in West Tennessee only about 70 miles or so from Missouri. Some of my ancestors' family went across the Mississippi and settled in Missouri. There's a connection between my family and both Daniel Boone's family and Jesse James. As you know, Missouri is part Southern and part Northern. Hannibal, where Samuel Clemens was born, isn't far from Springfield, Illinois while the Missouri Bootheel is practically in Arkansas. By the way, I wouldn't say that the Lee name is that common in the South. I don't have any Lees in my ancestry and don't remember knowing any when I was growing up. I did know a few Lees in the military. The Lee name is not just Robert E, it actually is important in US history going back to the Colonial Period and the Revolution. Good luck finding your grandfather's family.
Thank you for the sweet loving appreciation of your resilient Mom. Doing the next thing is so true - when you’re in a muddle you don’t even know what that is but pick something and move forward (baby steps if necessary).
...added note, my husband and I are currently on a road trip, (almost ended) and have also landed in St. George, Utah. What an amazing state. Zion and all will fill your soul with long lasting nourishment.
God is goodness, keep the faith and never forget, HOPE dies last.
Thank you for this. It will resonate with a lot of us. I am a mom and grandma with one birth daughter and three bo us daughters. They are all loved so much and all have stories, a couple similar to yours.
Happy (belated) Mother’s Day Sasha. Love this article. It sounds your mom was an extraordinary woman. I often say that my mom was a “super mom” well before the phrase was coined in the 70’s/80’s. She passed away long ago when she was 60, but she crammed a whole lotta life in those 60 yrs! She married young, had 5 kids, & worked full time all thru her 5 pregnancies...that was not (typically) allowed back in the 50’s! She took a couple weeks off after each delivery, but in order to keep her job, she had to do it. I am the strong/independent/successful woman I am today because of my wonderful mom...she was a great influence on me and my siblings. Happy Mother’s Day in Heaven Mom...
Born with a single mother in 1969; she was our goddess. A bar of soap and a bible regulated our language and a wooden spoon regulated our behavior(she only had to use both once).
My brother and I had a free-range childhood making our own meals and doing our laundry at the age of 8 - I wouldn't trade it for the world. There is no problem we cannot overcome. Have tried to pay it forward to our kids and it is working.
Beautiful tribute to your Mom. I am from Missouri too but consider myself Midwestern and not Southern. I live in NC now and that is considered Southern.
"She also taught me a valuable lesson I’ve carried with me throughout my life, and that is simply this: keep moving forward. When you feel stuck, sad, or helpless, do the next thing you must do, even if it’s something as mundane as taking out the garbage."
Very nice. Very wise.
My mom is 87. She was married at 18 and had three children by 21. I have been blessed to have her for going on 66 years. She has been so solid in supporting my life that I was (in some ways) very insulated from challenges others have often faced growing up, and on into adulthood.
I am very late to the thread, but Happy Mother's Day.
I was born one month, to the day, before D-Day to a mother who had just turned 21. I had 3 older siblings. My parents had just endured the Great Depression and now a World War. They first worked on ranches for little more than room and board. In addition to caring for her four little children she was expected to cook for the ranch hands and do laundry. They were allowed to keep a cow so we could have fresh milk and butter.
They finally bought an old ramshackle ranch in the canyons of the Niobrara River and that’s where my first memories began. We had nothing that we didn’t work for. No electricity, no inside plumbing, wood for fuel.
My mother, as I first remember, could cook delicious meals, sew beautiful clothes from leftover scraps of cloth and flour sacks. We wore patches in our worn out jeans. She knew we were poor but she also knew we didn’t have to be raggedy and dirty.
She helped milk cows, make butter, dress and fry the best chicken this side of heaven, fresh bread every day from the wood fueled oven, wash clothes on a washboard, canned many jars of garden fruits and vegetables to see us through bitter winters and could make the best apple pie without ever using a recipe.
My mother could do anything and exceptionally well. We moved to a little town, while keeping our ranch, so we kids could go to high school. She worked as a grocery clerk, telephone operator and bookkeeper.
They just don’t make them like that anymore. I’m proud of my late, dear mother in more ways than I can ever say.
Happy Mothers Day!
"They just don’t make them like that anymore"
No, they certainly don't. And look where that's led us to.
What a beautiful tribute to your mother.
Thank you!
Your mother did not buy into the “I’m poor so I’m a victim, poor me”, philosophy.
Raleigh, I grew up about 2-3 hours south of the Niobrara. Can picture where you described, floated that river a time or two. You honor your Mom well. We also canned from the garden, and my Mom was a great cook too.
Small world! Yes, the Niobrara is now a national scenic river and great place to float and canoe. I bet those early years are also some of your fondest memories. Thanks for checking in.
One of the most valuable realizations of life is when you wrap your head around the humanity of a parent. As a kid we think mom just does all this stuff she does because it is just who she is. When we realize that she was often as lost, tired, overworked and overwrought as we can be, we have passed a crucial gate of adulthood. We can then stop blaming them for everything that is wrong in our own lives and begin to really do something about it. Another gateway. When we can finally embrace our love for them in spite of their imperfection, we open a loving place in our hearts that will open a thousand mental and emotional gates for the rest of our lives.
It’s nice seeing someone in an influential role such as you who has clearly passed those gates. You and your mom are both fortunate as a result as am I for having read about it.
"One of the most valuable realizations of life is when you wrap your head around the humanity of a parent. "
Beautifully stated and painfully true.
One of the most liberating experiences I had as a teenager was realizing that my Mom was doing the best that she could and though she wasn't anywhere near perfect, she loved me. I could cut her some slack. That was a new day and a new beginning for us. It's been more than 40 years since, and she went back Home 12 years ago. It's still one of the most important days of my life.
Beautifully said.
I look forward to your posts. Happy Mothers Day to you. Your thoughts, written down, are clear water to the thirsty. You’re brave and eloquent.
This was excellent. Thank you so much for sharing your mother and these parts of her amazing life story with us.
Separately, I want to thank you for having the courage to talk openly about your awakening and for sharing your valuable critical thought! Wish more people on the left would learn to think for themselves.
My mother died unexpectantly too young, being 63 in 1985.
Happy mother's day to all of them that survived mine.
Thank you for sharing. What a great story and words of wisdom for the young kids today...
Incredible story of part of your life. You are an incredible person to come full circle and see the strength of your mom. We take far too much pleasure in our misery being ungrateful. It could have been far, far worse for you growing up. Your mom prevented and protected you against that scenario. A great story. Happy Mother’s Day!
Being a rebellious kid growing up in the 60’s Bat Area, I always managed to create and aggravate a strained relationship with my parents.
My Dad lived to 91, that gave me time to fully make amends. My Mother died 20 years earlier, and I was never able to. There’s so much I would like to have said and shown. What fools we can be.
I love you, Mom.
I grew up in the South, Virginia to be specific. I remember a 7th grade assignment to write a one page essay about our favorite president of the United States...but if we wanted to write about Robert E. Lee, that was fine too! 😂😃 good times good times
Happy Mother’s Day
My mom is with God, and I asked Him to give her a hug today. I wish I had always been kind to her and made her life easier— I pray in some way I blessed her. I was 39 when she passed— regrets for not treasuring her last a life time. Rise and bless your moms, knowing they are doing their best. 🙏🏻♥️
Mindi, you are blessing her right now by giving her honor, here. Peace to you
Sasha, I just wrote about my mom @jeannetta.substack.com. Thought you would appreciate it.
Great story. It's great to see you embrace your working class roots by standing up for these people in your writing. My parents owned a restaurant and didn't have fancy degrees either but they made a great middle class life for us. That's become increasingly difficult today. Thanks for sharing and Happy Mothers Day to you and your mom.
Dang I love this! This is so real and so true. Most of us could feel like some sort of a victim of our families in one way or another. I’ve learned as I got older what a waste of time that is. It’s a grieving process though. I’ve been trying to focus on going forward and what I can affect. Interesting you did that too, thinking you were raising perfect little democrats. Lol For me it was going to church and teaching kids about god. But we have since left that. The church culture wasn’t right for us. But all we were doing is trying just like you.
Dems capitalized on that movement big time, raising good little social justice warriors. Theres a new set of mama bears out there though. Hope it’s a good movement for society. They are the same as you though, thinking they are helping to contribute better to society. When you strip it all down there really is no ill intent on either side.
Beautiful Sasha, thank you
What a beautiful testimonial to your Mother, Sasha. She was blessed, too, with a daughter who really knows, understands and appreciates he. I guess the best gift we can ever give our Mothers (here or there) is to forgive their imperfections and realize, in the end, they were the perfect Mother for us - since we picked them to help lay the foundation for our eventual path.
Thanks for sharing that, Sasha. Your mom was a very wise lady! She raised a daughter the right way, and you’re making a great contribution to society by having the courage to report the truth you’ve uncovered. I hope you have a great visit with your mother.
Beautiful tribute to your exceptional Mom! Totally love her picture amongst the vinyl! ❤️ Retro Rules! 🤩
Hard times make strong men -- and even stronger women.
Happy Mothers Day to the moms out there. Though we don’t tell you enough or very well, you mean the world to us; your sons, daughters, and spouses <3
Another great piece from what may be America's last truth-teller. Happy Mother's Day!
Love this story, Sasha. Thank you.
There are three songs about life, love, and the American woman that, to me, are perfect anthems for motherhood.
Paula Cole -- Happy Home... which reminds me muchly of Sasha's story here.
The Judds -- Love is Alive... watch Grace West's cover on The Voice. It will blow you away.
Emmylou Harris -- Red Dirt Girl... about loss
These songs break my heart, perhaps for different reasons, but really, for all reasons.
My own mother is incredible. Small town, mid-west girl marries a mysterious man she barely knows, but trusts her heart and follows him overseas leading to a 25-year dufflebag odyssey around the Pacific while raising three young children. She's written & self-published two books on the subject, winning recognition and awards. She's been writing a weekly column for her hometown paper for years now, telling the stories of forgotten people, things, and events to remind us of who we are. Even at 85 years old, she's a wondrous dynamo that leave folks 60 years younger in a perpetual state of awe and exhaustion. I really don't know how she does it. She has moved her household more than 20 times and last week, in a total surprise, moved herself and my father into a senior, assisted living complex, before it becomes necessary, because she didn't want to burden us kids with having to make that decision. I'm her first-born. She still peels and separates my oranges for me. That's my Mom.
*Forgive me if this is a double post. I tried posting this with links to the songs, but the page crashed and I didn't see that it was posted. Perhaps the links are disallowed?
Thank you!! And peace to you as well🙏🏻
Beautifully written Sasha! Thank you for sharing your story. She must be so proud of you!
(Mine is a bit similar 😉)
It's interesting that your family is from Missouri. I grew up in West Tennessee only about 70 miles or so from Missouri. Some of my ancestors' family went across the Mississippi and settled in Missouri. There's a connection between my family and both Daniel Boone's family and Jesse James. As you know, Missouri is part Southern and part Northern. Hannibal, where Samuel Clemens was born, isn't far from Springfield, Illinois while the Missouri Bootheel is practically in Arkansas. By the way, I wouldn't say that the Lee name is that common in the South. I don't have any Lees in my ancestry and don't remember knowing any when I was growing up. I did know a few Lees in the military. The Lee name is not just Robert E, it actually is important in US history going back to the Colonial Period and the Revolution. Good luck finding your grandfather's family.
Still gorgeous 💕
Sasha! Your beauty and superpower is your truth. You have your mother to thank.
Thank you for the sweet loving appreciation of your resilient Mom. Doing the next thing is so true - when you’re in a muddle you don’t even know what that is but pick something and move forward (baby steps if necessary).
Thank your mom for me-I needed to hear her advice on keep moving forward. Happy Mother’s Day to you!
Thank you, Sasha and Amen to our Mother's
...added note, my husband and I are currently on a road trip, (almost ended) and have also landed in St. George, Utah. What an amazing state. Zion and all will fill your soul with long lasting nourishment.
God is goodness, keep the faith and never forget, HOPE dies last.
Excellent reflection on family life and motherhood. Thanks so much!
Thank you for this. It will resonate with a lot of us. I am a mom and grandma with one birth daughter and three bo us daughters. They are all loved so much and all have stories, a couple similar to yours.
Happy (belated) Mother’s Day Sasha. Love this article. It sounds your mom was an extraordinary woman. I often say that my mom was a “super mom” well before the phrase was coined in the 70’s/80’s. She passed away long ago when she was 60, but she crammed a whole lotta life in those 60 yrs! She married young, had 5 kids, & worked full time all thru her 5 pregnancies...that was not (typically) allowed back in the 50’s! She took a couple weeks off after each delivery, but in order to keep her job, she had to do it. I am the strong/independent/successful woman I am today because of my wonderful mom...she was a great influence on me and my siblings. Happy Mother’s Day in Heaven Mom...
Your mom was a fighter! Nice tribute to a hard working mother with a great work ethic.
Born with a single mother in 1969; she was our goddess. A bar of soap and a bible regulated our language and a wooden spoon regulated our behavior(she only had to use both once).
My brother and I had a free-range childhood making our own meals and doing our laundry at the age of 8 - I wouldn't trade it for the world. There is no problem we cannot overcome. Have tried to pay it forward to our kids and it is working.
Love you wonderful ladies!
Thank you, Sasha, for subscribing. I am appreciative! I do thoroughly enjoy reading your pieces!
Sasha,
Respect for you and your mom.
Happy Mother’s Day and enjoy Utah!! We moved here from Oregon (for jobs) six years ago and haven’t looked back.
Happy Mother's Day to you and your mother, Sacha.
Happy Mother’s Day! Your mom is beautiful. Hope you’re enjoying the road trip.
beautiful tribute. thanks for sharing
Love this. Happy Mothers Day.
Beautiful tribute to your Mom. I am from Missouri too but consider myself Midwestern and not Southern. I live in NC now and that is considered Southern.
Great to have you in our state. If you need a lunch or dinner, keep heading north to cache valley and we’d love to have you!
Thank you, Sasha! Happy Mother's day to all the moms!
BTW, here's a link to this week's Biden Inc. House Oversight report , which the msm failed to report:
https://oversight.house.gov/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Bank-Memorandum-5.10.23.pdf
I’m happy for you, Sasha.
Beautiful story on this day.
Beautiful share. I enjoy your posts. Thank you.
Happy Mother’s Day to you and Yours.
"She also taught me a valuable lesson I’ve carried with me throughout my life, and that is simply this: keep moving forward. When you feel stuck, sad, or helpless, do the next thing you must do, even if it’s something as mundane as taking out the garbage."
Very nice. Very wise.
My mom is 87. She was married at 18 and had three children by 21. I have been blessed to have her for going on 66 years. She has been so solid in supporting my life that I was (in some ways) very insulated from challenges others have often faced growing up, and on into adulthood.
I am very late to the thread, but Happy Mother's Day.