Do you have a crazy mother?¬† I just got off the phone with mine and she is considering getting back together with her very scary ex-boyfriend who cheated on her, lied to her and then dumped her. She has been tortured and tormented over him for years now as he’s been trying to rope himself a sugar mama. He sends out a feeler, like saying he wants to live with her again, she believes him and prepares and then he dumps her again. Now she’s going back in for another round.

If you think I have/had terrible taste in assholes, my mother manages to make my romantic history seem positively healthy by comparison. I cannot believe she is entertaining the notion of living again with this man who has done nothing but torment her for years. So it goes.

Meanwhile, on my own disasterous front, I found out that the Italy of my daughter’s dreams may be a one-off or a two-off as those two summers we spent with her father in Rimini are probably never going to happen again. I found out today that, much to my own observations to the contrary, we aren’t exactly as desired as I’d previously thought. They love having Emma there and were happy to have to her, to see her and experience their own flesh and blood but when it comes to us spending a couple of weeks there, it is an impossibility. The grandma is dying, or close to it, and it will be just the aunt, Emma’s dad and Emma’s dad’s mom left in that entire family. Emma is the only offspring from any of them. You’d think they’d want her in their lives more or at all.

I think they must think that we’re out for their property or something, which we’re not. But for a birthday present and Christmas present every year to Emma, we have never asked for nor received one thin dime from them. I would not expect them to ever think of Emma as theirs and therefore for her to be due any inheritance. I would even bet that they’d sell it all off rather than leave it to her. It’s a bit depressing but it is the reality. I have found most men that I’ve dealt directly with in my life to be greatly disappointing in almost every regard. The good ones I didn’t hold on to long enough, the bad ones left their mark. So it goes.

And you may be wondering why I’m putting this all out there on a blog for all to see – there is a reason, actually. It’s therapeutic. No one really reads this site anyway.¬† So there’s an upside.

I bring this up because I revealed this latest info about Emma’s dad to my mother and her attitude was to side with the guy. She felt bad for him because I have “such a beautiful daughter.” She even invoked the name of her “boyfriend” who had seen Emma and remarked upon what a beautiful daughter she was. Like I’m supposed to care what he thinks? He’s a douchebag. I guess in a way she has a point: it is their loss. I can’t relate to people who don’t know what it is to watch a child grow up. My wishful thinking had me believing in an illusion. A beautiful illusion but an illusion nonetheless.

It’s time, probably, to move on.