Finished, I tell you. Flipping through O Magazine and it suddenly hit me that the cult of Oprah is about perfecting, not accepting. Suze Orman scolding we befuddled and bad financial planners, the array of things we can’t possibly afford – freaking ballet flats for $300? Spanx to suck us in, agonizing books to read on top of being the best mom, the best business woman, the nicest person, the most charitable – you know, enough already. It’s hard enough just remembering to buy and then correctly use tampons so that you can spare that last decent pair of underwear. Christ almighty. When will it end.

Oh, and asterickly speaking, I once went up for a job to be the Oprah guide on Did not get the job. Why is this not surprising?