I can’t bear the recent story of the lost whales in Sacramento. A mom and her calf got stuck when they swam down the wrong river and now they are on display, confused, and swimming in circles. They were encouraged to swim back out by whale sounds, which worked for another whale back in the 1980s. But that was a male whale and, let’s face it, homeboy would do anything to get near a female whale, even if it wasn’t his own species. But these are females and they’re probably smarter. And anyway, she clearly has other things on her mind:

The scientists have been playing sounds of whales feedings rather than love songs. “Because she is with a tending calf we don’t think she would be interested in any breeding-related calls at this point,” said Joe Cordaro, a wildlife biologist at the National Marine Fishery Service.

It’s all very sad. Unless they find a way out soon they’ll die. They can’t feed off of anything in the fresh water river. Good god, somebody please do something.

More of the sad whale’s tale