I Have A Crazy Mother
Do you have a crazy mother?¬† I just got off the phone with mine and she is considering getting back together with her very scary ex-boyfriend who cheated on her, lied to her and then dumped her. She has been tortured and tormented over him for years now as he’s been trying to rope himself a sugar mama. He sends out a feeler, like saying he wants to live with her again, she believes him and prepares and then he dumps her again. Now she’s going back in for another round.
Watching Movies with Emma
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6UQW64hxMI[/youtube]
Emma likes scary movies and funny movies. Movies we’ve watched recently include Breaking Away, the film about a rag tag group of townies (cutters) who take on the privilaged college kids in the bicycle race. This movie was my best friend Clara’s and my absolute favorite when we were tweens. Emma loved it but especially dug the bike race at the end. She’s a ten year-old; it isn’t really her kind of film. We watched Hairspray and then Wolf and then One Fine Day and Emma discovered who Michelle Pfeiffer was. But by far her favorite thing lately (other than the sublime Wall-E) is Get Smart. After we saw the deficient feature film I started showing Emma the TV series. She watches clips from it on YouTube and catches reruns on TV. We’ve been walking around quoting Don Adams. But here’s the weird thing, the guy is always smoking a cigarette on the show. It’s the strangest thing to see that on TV. Unless you’re Holly Hunter playing a slutty cop it’s rare to see ANY smoking anymore. Missed it by that much.
I love the gag reel:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-k-iJbjWAHM[/youtube]
Where Did She Go?
This was me. Twenty years ago, or thereabouts. My friend was taking pictures of me, believe it or not, to use as an 8X10 for acting. It’s funny how we delude ourselves. No doubt I was cute but maybe I was waitress material – certainly I’d never make it as an actress not then or now. I got a clue not long after this pic was taken and pursued other things. But looking at this picture, I have so many things I wish I could tell that girl. The first I would tell her: don’t sweat the small stuff. Really, it’s all about the big picture. Worrying about little things is such a grand time suck. I think, unfortunately, I still worry about the little things but I’m getting better at that. To this girl I would said “stop fucking around with your life, you dumb shit. Go to college, study something useful like law or medicine. Be a teacher. Have a decent salary, health benefits and retirement. It isn’t only about love, attention and having fun. In fact, it isn’t really about that at all, unless you have time after all of the necessary stuff is done.”
I might also say, “spring for a real haircut.” So much of my young life was shaped by bad haircuts I did myself – and this is no exception. Check out the way the bangs fringe out; no hairdresser would do that to a person.
The Death and Dying Phase
Today I found out my sad little dog died. She was such a dog that nowhere in my files of photos is there a single picture of her. We adopted her from the pound back in 1999 and was stunned to find her unable to leave the confines of the bathroom. The bathroom floor was where she preferred to stay all day and all night, coming out briefly to eat or relieve herself. She would then return to the bathroom and lay there. Most people who encountered her thought that all she needed was a lot of love and care and she would come out of her shell. The poor little dog was all messed up in the head, though, from years of abuse; she was head shy and, from the looks of it, crate-trained, meaning, she was raised being confined to a crate either by a creep or by someone who just didn’t know better. She was probably beaten constantly for barking or whatever else. Whatever happened to her I’ve never seen a dog like her.
And Then, There it is
Emma and I spent three days in the mountains to visit my mother, Emma’s grandmother, a crazy woman. It’s funny how much we all want to believe our need to have our parents in our lives overrides our knowledge that they aren’t who we want them to be and we probably aren’t to them what they wanted us to be. My mother loves her dog probably more than any living creature. Her home is surrounded by photos of her dogs and her pets yet there aren’t many of her children or grandchildren but for a few here or there. My mother likes having a clean home and it’s as if the neatness is maintained there will be no despair. Panic sets in when the mess threatens the serenity of the uncluttered surfaces.
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About Me
I spend way too much thinking about me.
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