Musings and Mirth

F&ck You, Apple

I mean really, fuck you. After the many years of devotion to you, after defending you in countless arguments with PC lovers, after spending at least $1,000 more with each purchase than I would for a comparable machine – FUCK YOU.

I bought the iPhone 3GS less than a year ago. I thought it was the coolest thing ever. I never went anywhere without it. It worked BEAUTIFULLY. I dropped it a few times and it still works. I have relied upon it every day for the past year. But then Apple sends out a firmware update with OS4 software designed for iPhone 4. And it totally screws up my iPhone. Now it doesn’t work. It crashes constantly and it can’t handle the upgraded firmware in the slightest. Wouldn’t it have been nice if Apple had tested this better before sending it out to many of us loyal customers?

So now, they’re hoping everyone will buy their iPhone 4 and that we 3GS customers are a thing of the past. Really? I’m supposed to shell out $400 for a new fucking iPhone when my old one isn’t even a year old?!

I know that when I walk into the Apple store and tell them my problem they will just give me that confused look. Plenty of customers, they will say, are having no problems whatsoever with the iPhone firmware update. What is YOUR problem, lady? And why don’t you have a new iPhone anyway?

I’m really going to spend $400 on a phone that already has many problems with its reception? My iPhone 3GS was great! It was perfect. It worked beautifully.

But here’s the kicker: Apple will block your restore if you try to downgrade to the former version of the firmware. The only way to do it, I guess, is to void my warranty and jailbreak it to get the old software on there.

So I just wanted to say, for the first time I’m going to be looking at my options and maybe saying a final FUCK YOU to Apple. Perhaps it’s time to stop being such a mindless follower.

But I love my iPhone. I really really do.

Letter to My Twenty Year Old Self

I found this story via a good friend on Facebook. Cassie Boorn sent out calls to older women to write letters to their twenty year old selves. Some highlights were then posted on Mental Floss:

  • “Speaking of money, way to not have a credit card yet, that is a good move. Although, seriously: you have no concept of managing money in any kind of real way. That’s going to suck in a few years when you do get a credit card, and aren’t as good as you should be about paying off the balance.”
  • “You look like a damn model. Enjoy that concave stomach and stop being self-conscious about your body.”
  • “As for prince charming, thanks for believing that he exists. When you meet him, don’t be surprised if he doesn’t appear to be much more than a friend at first.”
  • “You didn’t develop your character because you did everything right. As that rickety old woman told once you,flowers grow in the valley, not the mountaintop. And you have to walk through the valley to get back up there.”

All of them, pearls of wisdom, my friends. I have so much to say to my 20 year-old self. I realized, though, that saying it is one thing. Hearing it at 20 is a whole different thing. Imagine, for instance, what Lindsay Lohan has been hearing from people, and how she’ll look back on her 20s. What we don’t realize as young women is that there is time ahead for the things we seem to want now. We also don’t appreciate what we have. So I wanted to write a letter to see what would come out, knowing that I probably wouldn’t have listened back then. Because, you know, we all knew everything already, right?

Here is a pic of me around that age:

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Youth and Beauty

As I move through my 45th year, I am seeing so many things more clearly. Life seems a lot less complex than it did twenty years ago. And yet, the older I get, the more nostalgic I feel for my youth. I am bathing in a cliche. I have been watching films from the early ’80s and I have been remembering what it feels like to be desired the way only young women are. But it isn’t just that — it’s the energy, hope and life force one feels when they’re just starting out. It came with a whole bunch of neurosis. This is the ugly truth of it. In most ways, it is better to be older.

Some young women really remind me of what it felt like to be a young woman – and though I have no idea what will happen to them as they age – they seem to capture the swagger, the sexual confidence, the vulnerability and the child-like wonder of being a woman between the ages of 20 and 25. At that time in my own life I already felt old. I had no idea, really, who I was and how temporary it would all be.

If I could impart this to young women I would: it doesn’t last. Enjoy the flame while it burns.

The women that remind me of those days are:

Blake Lively

Katy Perry

And especially Daisy Lowe

iPhone Blues

I realized that my addiction to my iPhone is supreme and profound when I was late for a screening yesterday. I had run upstairs three times to “find it” and of course never did. I had no idea where it was. Driving out to Burbank without it was a palm-sweating experience. It’s like going out without any underwear on. The feeling was the same, even if the potential for public humiliation was nowhere near.

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About Me

I spend way too much thinking about me. This is the blank space where that paragraph should be.