Britney Spears. What more is left to say. Here is how sick we all are. If Britney became Elvis, hell, if Amy Winehouse became Elvis, and suddenly died they would both become saints. Britney would be worshipped like a goddess and no longer chewed up and spit out on a daily basis. But really, what more is left to say? This is why I never want my daughter to go anywhere near show business. There is no happy ending for any of them, even the successful ones. Best any child star can hope for is to fade off into obscurity, you know, become a realtor. Photos of Britney, returning from Louisiana where her teenage sister just gave birth, breaking into sobs as the photographers snap away. But check out the dude in the background, the one in the Ed Hardy tee. The juxtaposition of him and Britney sadness makes this particular photo art.

Just saying.

I hope to shed some light on truly uncivilized behavior and the growing cancer of gossip bloggers.

Submitted for your approval -Perez Hilton covering a truly irrelevant item about (who cares) Chace Crawford trying to “distance” himself from Rumer Willis. Rumer Willis, who is trying to break into showbiz but doesn’t have the face for it, is one of the number one targets of online gossip sites. But oh so high school it all is, folks. First off, Rumer ought to rethink her career choice because she is choosing an industry that is shallow, meaningless and petty. If she wants to be in it she’d better have some major plastic surgery so that assholes like Perez will shut their fucking pie-holes. Here is Perez’ lame-ass post:

Chace Crawford is moving quickly to distance himself from Rumer Willis.

The Gossip Girl hottie was spotted Thursday night with Potato Head, and many people assumed the pair were on a “date.”

Gag!

Chace probably doesn’t want people to think he’d ever date Rumer or that he’s gay and looking for a beard!

A source very close to Crawford tells PerezHilton.com exclusively:

I need to clear up this Chace and Rumer thing.

The ONLY reason why Chace and Rumer were near each other was because of one man: JOSH SCHWARTZ!

It was [Gossip Girl creator] Josh Schwartz’s car they were seen in and obviously Chace was there because he created his hit show, but Rumer was there to discuss Josh‚Äôs OTHER hit show, CHUCK!

There is NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING going on with the two of them. If it wasn’t for JOSH, they would not be at the same place together.

And there you have it.

Amen!

Perez spends his time deciding who’s hot and who’s not all the while himself looking very much like a potato. Not just any old potato – a bloated, arrogant, greasy potato! So, he’s one to talk, eh?

And herewith, a sampling of Perez’ genius commenters that I’ve fashioned into a poem:

i hate that ugly bitch
first!
woohoo
oh my god I laughed so hard out loud when I read “potato head”, it’s mean but it’s funny. I can so see the resemblance with mr. potato head
rumer willis! eww!
omg THANK G-D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he’s wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too hot for her
He looks gay! And her face is fat…. wow… fat face…. yeesshhh… poor chica!
She might be one of the weirdest looking people on earth!!
NASTY!!! SHE EVEN MORE UGLYER THAN POOR MOOMOO….. AT LEAST DIVA MOOMOO WEARS SUNGLASSES TO HIDE THAT FACE… RUMER SHOULD GET SOME TIPS FROM MOOMOO… LOL… MAYBE ACTING TIPS…..LOL….THEY BOTH WISH THEY WERE CLASSY AND HOT LIKE BRITNEY….POOR THINGS….NASTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank God!!! I got really nervous there for a second!
ahhhhhh pray tha lowd!
if i were rumor reading all this would kind of make me feel like shit.
GOOD

Perez wouldn’t mind anyone saying anything bad about him because he likes the extra publicity. Advertisers don’t care what he writes because there are so many McConsumers reading his dumb site. Everyone wins or loses as the case may be. As for Ms. Willis, I hope she figures out that showbiz is a worthless profession, goes to college and does something useful with her life. I hope Perez finally gets his, whatever it will be it ain’t going to be pretty. Keep worshipping Angelina, Perez, you are a sad fuck.