Every so often, if you’re doing a blog, it’s important to drive up your non-existent traffic. I do this by putting up the obligatory boobs post, that will no doubt bring lots of traffic, or not. Probably not. But hey, there is no point in doing this thing if you’re not going to do it all the way.
So there I was in the gym, faced with yet more naked bodies – of all shapes and sizes. It sounds like a cliche but trust me when I say, all shapes and sizes. You name it, I’ve seen it. Even if I tried not to look, it would be unavoidable. Boobs and pubic hair. In the gym locker room. You’d think it would be kind of erotic and hot except that, really, it’s not. It’s a lot more Auschwitz-like than Girls Gone Wild. I hate to make a Holocaust joke. But I just did. I’m going to hell.
So anyway, a friend recently advised me that when putting on your bra you’re supposed to lean over and jiggle them in. So I thought, there’s no way this will actually work. Sooner or later they jiggle back to where they aren’t supposed to be. In my case either popping over the top of my bra or pointing in the wrong direction due to the tightness of the fabric. Aren’t you so glad you clicked on this to read it? Here you were misled to believe that this would be something at least sort of hot? Or maybe you were hoping for an insightful nugget on life or perhaps something Oscar-related. Instead it’s as mundane as flossing your teeth, which all of you should do by the way. Don’t make me lecture.
Today, I’m proud to say, I jiggled them into my bra and what do you know, perfect fit. Maybe there is something to this instruction. Have you ever noticed that most of growing up includes realizing all of those things old people told you were actually true? All of the nagging my grandmother did and my mother did ended up being dead on. And yet, I brushed them off.
Now I must reconsider all of them. Somewhere my grandmother is laughing in her grave, god rest her soul. And you know, that’s something coming from an atheist like me.¬† Just kidding. Well, not really but one never says it out loud.