From the category archives:

AHOLES AND ELBOWS

Sarah Palin Still Sucks

by Sasha Stone on September 1, 2010

Any opportunity to make fun is okay by me.

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Missed it by That Much

by Sasha Stone on August 10, 2010

Last year, before my daughter moved to our old/new apartment (we switched from a tiny one bedroom to a two bedroom), we had a fantasy about living on the top floor of a duplex apartment down the road from where now live.  It was out of our price range but so much the kind of place we’d wanted to live in. For one thing, we didn’t have to “be embarrassed” about where lived.  This was squarely in a good neighborhood, an upper with lots of light and windows, a hard wood floor, a fireplace and a huge kitchen.  Two tiny bedrooms.

My daughter saw the ivy crawling up the brick wall outside and fell in love.  It had its own yard and a patio area.  It was the kind of place in which you could build a container garden, for instance.  It was the closest thing to a “home” that we had looked at.  And it was a huge step-up from our current one bedroom (which I liked because of the view, even if I did sleep on a mat on the floor).

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Wake-Up Moms and Dads – Know what Your Tween is Doing Online

by Sasha Stone July 20, 2010 AHOLES AND ELBOWS
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I don’t even know what to say about this poor mom.  But I suggest she get herself a computer and learn how to use google and Youtube. You have, no doubt, heard about the latest YouTube sensation of poor little kerligirl, aka Jessi Slaughter aka Jessica Leonhardt.  The last one is her real name.  Her videos are completely sad and bizarre.  But it goes along with what I’ve been wanting to impart onto parents for, like, ever. A little bit of history: I’ve been online for almost fifteen years, I’m embarrassed to say.  I found this world after a kind of painful breakup and I never came out of it.  I live a regular life, too.  But in the first few years, I didn’t.  I was completely submerged in the online community, the global world of cybergeeks, as they were known then.  This is even before there was a World [...]

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The Fake FAKE FAKE Bachelorette

by Sasha Stone July 20, 2010 AHOLES AND ELBOWS
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This season’s Bachelorette, I started watching it because I was trying to launch a website about celebrity gossip, and my idea was to live blog the stupid ABC show.  But the website never took off but I continued to watch this stupid stupid STUPID STUPID show.  By now, it’s almost the finale – and I’m watching the lame-ass Frank fake-confess his love for his ex-girlfriend. Here’s the thing: it’s all an act.  He’s a screenwriter, he’s looking for fame, he probably never thought he would get as far as he had and when it came down to it, his plan with his stupid girlfriend was foiled. I just want to state it for the record that the producers of the show, and its brain-dead participants, aren’t fooling anyone.  Blech.

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Mel Gibson Comment Poetry

by Sasha Stone July 16, 2010 AHOLES AND ELBOWS
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This from US Weekly’s story about Oksana supposedly trying to extort 10 million from Mel Gibson to keep audio tapes under wraps. Bless Mel’s heart because he made a stupid decision leaving Robin for this money hungry tramp looking for a free ride. That’s just plain wrong! But she got the reaction she was plotting to get! Bimbo! I don’t beleive anything this sorry excuse for a women says. Whey would she be recording conversations w/the father of her child if she wasn’t out for something. She’s ugly and Mel has some amazing talent. The man is a victim of this barracuda who is just trying to extort millions from him using that baby she had, without his permission, she just set him up and got pregnant to entrap him and then is going in for the kill. Poor Man I would bet Oksana provokes Mel into his rants. She [...]

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F&ck You, Apple

by Sasha Stone July 7, 2010 AHOLES AND ELBOWS

I mean really, fuck you.  After the many years of devotion to you, after defending you in countless arguments with PC lovers, after spending at least $1,000 more with each purchase than I would for a comparable machine – FUCK YOU. I bought the iPhone 3GS less than a year ago.  I thought it was the coolest thing ever.  I never went anywhere without it.  It worked BEAUTIFULLY.  I dropped it a few times and it still works. I have relied upon it every day for the past year.  But then Apple sends out a firmware update with OS4 software designed for iPhone 4.  And it totally screws up my iPhone.  Now it doesn’t work. It crashes constantly and it can’t handle the upgraded firmware in the slightest.  Wouldn’t it have been nice if Apple had tested this better before sending it out to many of us loyal customers? So [...]

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iPhone Blues

by Sasha Stone July 3, 2010 AHOLES AND ELBOWS
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I realized that my addiction to my iPhone is supreme and profound when I was late for a screening yesterday.  I had run upstairs three times to “find it” and of course never did.  I had no idea where it was.  Driving out to Burbank without it was a palm-sweating experience.  It’s like going out without any underwear on.  The feeling was the same, even if the potential for public humiliation was nowhere near.

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So You Wanna Be a Blogger — Everybody is Going to Hate You

by Sasha Stone April 24, 2010 AHOLES AND ELBOWS
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Ugh. This has not been a great week. If you want to blog, know this: the more successful you become, the more people are going to hate you. I am unfortunately an Oscar blogger, an invented genre, an invented profession and one no one respects. It is like uttering a dirty word in a crowded room of nuns when someone asks you what you do. I usually just say “I run a movie site,” or “I run an awards site.” It almost always requires further explanation. The great thing about the internet is that people don’t often rely upon one site or one voice. They can hop around from site to site getting their daily fix. There is competition, always. And there is usually a winner. Everyone else scrambles to either top the winner or eke out a little piece of the pie on their own. I’ll let you in [...]

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Mean Girls Truly Suck

by Sasha Stone April 1, 2010 AHOLES AND ELBOWS

You’re going to find this on the gross side but yesterday, my brother-in-law was dropping off my niece who was spending the day with us, and the subject of the bullying case of poor Phoebe Prince. This is what I said. If a group of ignorant dullards bullied my kid I would “shave their heads and shit on their face.” And I’m sorry to admit that I actually said this. I know how it sounds. But I’m here to tell you all that it simply would not happen on my watch. I’m not blaming Phoebe’s mom or anyone – I am blaming the fuckheads who tormented her. I have been bullied. I know what it feels like. I also know girls. I just spend an entire week sharing a cabin with 8 11 year-old girls as a nature chaperone. My own daughter had shunned me (can you blame her? I [...]

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In Defense of Rielle Hunter and Other Bad Girls

by Sasha Stone March 17, 2010 AHOLES AND ELBOWS

I was never a pretty girl, not traditionally pretty anyway. Maybe charismatic, got “sexy” a lot, but pretty? Not really. There is something in Rielle Hunter I recognize and identify with. She is so many good things – and yet, she’s the object of our collective scorn, along with our collective disgust at John Edwards. I think Rielle, despite the spiritual gobbledegook she spouts, really does get the bigger picture — the biological forces that drive men to do what comes naturally to them – fuck anything that will let them fuck it — and that it’s hard for one woman to satisfy that need. I like the matter-of-fact way she lays it out in this revealing, must-read interview in GQ magazine. Rielle clears up a few things I’d long been wondering about. The media machine has cast Rielle as the predator who went after John Edwards with no consideration [...]

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